The Crunk's Family Vacation. (Non fiction)

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The Crunk's Family Vacation. (Non fiction)

Postby Rohan15 » Sat Aug 14, 2010 12:09 am

Let me start by saying this: My family is insane. Not figuratively, literally.
So, first week of January, my dad breaks everything below the waist and my mom is diagnosed with skin cancer. A month later, so is my dad, but in his bowels. Both recovered. This week, we decided to go on vacation because, hell, I only wasted summer working. We drove 4 hours to New Braunfels, which is the local Texas trap for tourist with a mind set on relaxing in natural rivers. we get there, and guess who greets us?
My uncle (The awesome one who will do ANYTHING for you, no questions asked.), my aunt who needs a serious reality check and abuses my uncle (the cool one), and not only my 6 year old cousin who constantly screams, but my OTHER uncle (Who pops about 10 Vicodin everyday, is bipolar, and has to control everything. We'll call him 'Nancy'.). I thought 'You know what? No biggy, I'll survive.' At that moment, I should have shot them all but my cool uncle. I take my cousin and brothers to the lake for some tubing, and once I let my bitch uncle Nancy drive the jet ski we were using, not only was I nearly thrown into a tree, but I lost my glasses in a 15 foot deep river. That's where it got FUN! Not only am I far sighted, but I'm legally blind without my glasses. So, what should have been a great trip of relaxing down a river in a tube while ogling the women around me, I had to walk with a STICK.
The next day, Nancy spilled all of our food and booze into the river, so we had nothing to drink and eat all day in the hot, hot sun. My stepmom snapped at him, Nancy slapped her. My dad, who is still crippled, got his cane and knocked his loser ass out. :lol:
Today, we left and I arrived home in a car smelling of cat urine (And I was constipated the entire ride.).
How was ya'lls f&^$%&g vacation, because I'm curious. (and yes, that is my last name up there.)


    Nel mezzo del camin di nostra vita
    mi ritrovai per una selva oscura
    che la diritta via era smarrita.
    Ahi quanto a dir qual era è cosa dura
    esta selva selvaggia e aspra e forte,
    che nel pensier rinuova la paura!
    Tant 'e amara che poco è più morte;
    ma per trattar del ben ch'i' vi trovai,
    dirò del altre cose ch'i' v'ho scorte.

    -Dante Alighieri, The Inferno.


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Re: The Crunk's Family Vacation. (Non fiction)

Postby patatoface » Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:18 am

that sucks, you really should have shot them eh
in austrailia we "school children" are in the middle of term so no vacations here but i'll be going on a cruise in december

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Re: The Crunk's Family Vacation. (Non fiction)

Postby RPGking » Sat Aug 14, 2010 1:24 pm

As cute as the entire vacation sounded, why don't you lay down some ground rules, as you seem to be the only sane one there.

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Re: The Crunk's Family Vacation. (Non fiction)

Postby Ovoon » Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:41 pm

Dude. That sucks. I've got a similar story, but it's too long to share.

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